Recently the Lord reminded me of this song I wrote, one of the very first songs after coming to Christ, I was about 20 years old, such a different sound, not like anything I ever heard before. A different sound, a different style, my music never really fit anywhere… but I have a feeling back then it was Psalm 51 that inspired this song. As I was meditating on this psalm again this week I pulled that old song out again and began playing it and so much came back to me.
The Joy of my salvation. The joy of the early days of knowing God and loving Him and wanting to give Him everything.
““I have nothing Lord to offer You, but a broken heart. A broken spirit I give to You, an acceptable offering I’m told…””
Maybe I’ll record that someday.
The Passion Translation, a bit far stretching, but quite inspiring, verse 12,
““Let my passion for life be restored, tasting joy in every breakthrough you bring to me. Hold me close to you with a willing spirit that obeys whatever you say.””
A reminder that God isn’t interested in our performance or outwards sacrifices. The sacrifices He delights in are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart. {Contrite is sorta old school, but it basically means regretful, repentant, remorseful, ashamed, sorry, apologetic and humble.}
I always wanted to be good and show my worth but always felt like I came up short. Much of my life I battled with feeling not good enough and desiring to be as pure and perfect as I could… the shame of my youth drove me to want to perform for God, to make up for my sin and my foolishness. Anyone who has struggled with #perfectionism understands, you have to forsake who you are, how God designed you to be - in order to try to accomplish the imagination of what you think you should be for God, for people, for the world…
When you discover the truth hidden here in Psalm 51- what God is *actually* looking for- its sure takes the pressure off. He isn’t looking for sacrifices, offerings, performance or piety. Come broken. Come in need. Come to Him as you are.
““Fill me up, I am so weak, help me see Your face, Shining down on me. Show me Lord, what can’t be seen and what it is, That really matters to You…””